Counselling for Couples
Relationship Issues

Do you find yourself in a relationship where you thought your life was going to be very different compared to how it is now?

Do you and your partner find yourselves repeating the same arguments or the same negative patterns of behaviours over and over again?  Do you live each week hoping that 'something' will happen to change your relationship, but don't know what that something is?

Worse still, has it got to the point where it just seems easier not to talk about certain things or indeed has it now reached a point where you are barely talking to each other at all?   You don't argue, but things are definitely not the same as how they used to be.  Maybe you know why, maybe you don't, but deep down you know you are not happy.  Is this really what you want from your partner, from your life and for yourself?   This month, this time next year, is that how you still want to be feeling?  How long would you be prepared to live this way in your relationship as things are now?  A year, 5 years, 10 years? 

Couples counselling is about giving each of you the respectful space and the facility you both need to work out together how your lives will be better. It is not about me, the therapist, acting like a judge deciding which one of you is guilty for what is going wrong in your relationship and then handing out criticism or blame, while the other partner sits by and says: 'See! I told you it was your fault entirely!'

How I work:  How I work is to explore with both of you how or why each of you thinks or feels the relationship has stopped working and to look at ways in which it can be restored, which works for both of you.  It is not about me, the therapist, telling you that your relationship will end or will continue.   Whether your relationship should end or continue is always a matter for you, the two adults in it, to decide.  However, in our time together I can help you reach that decision and I can offer you new ways of getting your communication with each other back on track, irrespective of whether you stay together or split up.

If you want the relationship to end, but don't know how to end it ...  Sometimes one person knows or the couple know that they want to split up, but feel ‘completely stuck' as to how to do this.  Even if breaking up seems the right thing to do, it can be a very painful, raw and frightening prospect for the person or couple who have made that realisation.  If this describes your relationship problem, I can work with you both to ease the process of 'uncoupling' by offering you both a supportive, practical framework based on understanding, sensitivity and impartiality.  This framework may assist you both to move out of the relationship and into the next phase of your lives, whether you have been together for ten months or forty years; whether children are involved or not.